Not There Yet, but Closer

Posted by Tilia

I really had hoped to have some sort of rampant sexual adventure to report here before boarding my plane for London on July 21st, just to start things off with a bang (ha! pun!).

Alas, my curse has kicked in again, and my flirtation with the hot guitar player at work seems to have fizzled to a halt after the startling revelation, three months into extremely inappropriate worktime interaction, that he has a girlfriend.

However, fate tried to make up for this in two ways.

1. I made $348 (I’m a cocktail waitress) in one night. Holy woot.
2. When I had a massive asthma attack and fell down some stairs toward the end of the night, the med tech they sent to care for me was incredibly cute, which actually just made the asthma worse.

At one point, he said to me, “Your breathing seems to have cleared up, but your heart rate is still erratic.”

“That’s because your hand is down my shirt.”

“heh.”

“No, seriously.”

So, I’m still going to have to delay my flight by a week or two, because my finances suck, but without the prospect of a week of post-virginal bliss between work shifts, in bed with Guitar Guy, my postponement has lost the hazy pink glow it previously had. Maybe I’ve still got a shot there, but either way, some of the magic is gone with the dropping of the GF bomb, which, to be fair, he didn’t really have a choice in.

A girl who’s friends with the girlfriend was sitting in my section, and I stupidly asked them how they knew each other. I should’ve stuck to my whole less-is-more policy on finding out things about Guitar Guy, and kept it to the facts that his real name is George and that he doesn’t eat bacon.

Perhaps the Atlantic divide is just the thing to break my stride. Working as a cocktail waitress in a theme park here in Orlando has really done wonders for any doubts I had concerning my level of attractiveness. I’ve got physical and personality assets out the wazoo, if recent events lead to truth on the matter, but it’s just a case of bad luck and a low pool of choices that have held me back.

Either way, I haven’t completely thrown in the towel on Guitar Guy, just because the build up has been so extreme (you’ll have to take my word on it), but hope on the final outcome is pretty low. Oh well, onward and outward, I suppose. I’ve definitely learned a valuable lesson about what I’ll call Gwags (Guys With Arbitrary Girlfriends), and the newfound lack of patience I have for them.

For God’s sake, if you want to bang another girl that badly, get out of your pathetic excuse for a relationship and go sow your wild oats. If you really, really need need the guarantee of some comfort, call your mom.

~ by Shannon on July 14, 2008.