Downtown Debauchery

Posted by Tilia

Tuesday night, I went to one of my favorite spots in Orlando for possibly the last time.  Jenna had never been downtown, so I decided I was going to take her to Independent Bar, or as the locals call it, I-Bar, my friends’ favorite destination for low-pressure partying when we were in college.

The evening started out fairly wholesome-ly, with Jenna and I sneaking into the back areas of the old train station, playing with the “modern art musical instrument” installed outside of the Orlando Public Library (which is just exceptionally cool).  It controls the light fixtures on the side of the building and creates compiled music depending on which order you hit the panels in.

We had drinks at a few assorted bars, swung into a hippie shop and looked at incense and wrought pewter jewelry, having drinks every few stops.  We eventually stopped at Urban Flats to have a quick dinner, and gave the manager such a hard time about being a carbon copy of our manager at the club (and he really, really was), that he bought us shots.

It was nice to have some early-on validation.

The shots were razzmatazz and cherry vodka.  It was so smooth that for a few minutes, Jenna and I suspected that the guy had just brought us fruit juice in shot glasses as a joke, which would’ve fit his personality.

Anyway, properly pre-gamed and ready to settle into a venue, we headed over to I-bar and snatched some choice barstools.  The bartender was leaning toward hot, and apparently reminded Jenna of someone she’d banged in the past.

It was at this point that Jenna let me know that if she didn’t get to kiss a stranger tonight, she would be very upset.  Knowing Jenna, I figured if she put her mind to it, accomplishing this feat would be pretty simple, however, the first person who approached us was so repulsive that we were forced to pretend to be a lesbian couple to get him to go the hell away.

We ended up on the dance floor shortly thereafter. It was on the dance floor where we encountered a guy in a Newsboy hat, whom I assumed was gay, and because of this, let him dance with us. Turned out the Newsboy was not gay, or at least was not aware of it yet.

It even seemed like he had a boyfriend.  There was a guy who approached him, pulled him aside while he was dancing with us, and had a minor argument that involved a lot of, “It’s fine!  No, it’s fine.”  Which always means it’s not okay at all.

Anyway, I left Jenna to dance with the guy while I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, she informed me that he was a 21-year-old virgin, straight, and a fantastic kisser.  She asked me if she could have this one, and I gave my blessing, took a Leg Spreader shot with her, and left her to it.

My own adventure involved five different guys, all of whom I tested out by asking for complicated or expensive drinks.  I was able to get whatever I wanted, which was nice, and it was apparent that they’d all love to make out with me on the dance floor, and beyond.

There was one that even brought up up to a back nook to talk to me, and we ended up sitting next to Jenna, on Newsboy’s lap, deep in the throes of their hook up.  I off-handedly mentioned that she was my roommate, he was a virgin, and she was married, and when the guy got excited, I tossed back the Patron shot he’d bought me, and excused myself.  It was probably wrong, but it was important for me to have that experience.

The night reached its close while I was dancing with a guy who claimed his name was Skyler, tried to kiss me, but just ended up licking my face.

That was unpleasant.  It’s a shame, too, because he was easily one of the most attractive guys I’d seen at the club, and probably a bad kisser because he’s attractive and has never had to try.  

I should mention I have zero regret about not hooking up with someone at the club, even if it has been three years since I’ve been properly kissed.  The point was the validation, not letting someone with bad aim lick my mouth and not my face.  Ew. 

Jenna grabbed me mid-dance with “Skyler,” and insisted we make our exit.  All the way to Pita Pit, she complained about Newsboy not letting her grope his crotch, how he wanted his first time to be Special (gay), and about the fact that he wouldn’t even feel up her breast when given the opportunity.

Somehow, though, Jenna remains content with the experience, and I do feel like the 21-year-old Virgin at I-Bar story will be a staple in our friendship for years to come.

It was an interesting night.

~ by Shannon on July 26, 2008.