About Tilia

I’m a 22-year-old virgin, just out of film school, with no real excuse for my condition.

My life seems riddled with incredibly intense faux relationships that include very tactical, intelligent flirtation, and an incredible amount of sexual tension, but, somehow just never lead anywhere physical.

In fact, even though I pride myself on breaking the most coveted of men to where they can’t help but to stare at me every time we’re in the same room, I’m still twiddling my thumbs on first base, with an unimpressive roster that includes a pointless, year-long relationship with a guy whom I hope, at some point, either turns out to be certifiable or gay (it was a long distance thing, I was 18, not really worth even talking about), and a random fling that never went past making out during winter break in the second year of college.

That kind of stopped being fun when he talked enough for me to realize he was a Republican.

This is a constant source of mystery to a great number of my friends, since I always seem to have a large group of admirers, yet cannot seem to close the deal. Ever.

And please, none of that, “you just haven’t found the one,” nonsense.  I don’t want The One.  That’d be effing tragic.  I’m 22.  Let me date first.  Please.

I’m going to try to close the deal now. And I’m going to chronicle it here, so if any of you can figure out a misstep along the way, you can point it out, and then we can test out your theories on repairing it. Until then, I’m working on my own tactics, so wish me luck -